I read this article today about the Newton victims and the latest report about the tragedy:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/11/25/newtown-sandy-hook-victms-families-react-report/3708139/
In the article one of the family members of one of the victims is saddened by the fact that a motive hasn't been established. That somehow this could be lessened if we just knew why this happened and why someone would do such a thing to children.
I'm here to tell you a harsh truth and it may not be easy to hear and here it is; There isn't a 'why' good enough.
Let me explain.
I've clients ask, "why did this happen?" when talking about a horrific event of abuse, violence or tragedy. I can often tell them why I think it happened and inevitability the next question is "why?"
Why did they think that way? Why did they have to act that way? Why did they take it out on me? Why then, why not later? Why ... why ... why...
The truth of the matter is that there is a never ending string of "why" questions that will never lead to a good answer that leads to satisfaction. It just is. And that is what people have a hard time dealing with. The unanswered questions.
Being able to deal with the pain and grief and move on knowing that it's a part of you is probably one of the hardest things to do. But unfortunately, there will never be a 'why' good enough to make you feel better.
I'm rooting for you,
~Eric
